Funny How That Happens

This week we had a Management Team Meeting scheduled. I arrived feeling cranky and expecting to be sitting for 3 hours. My friend/boss was the last to arrive. She spoke first and said she had something to tell us. She said that, of course we knew that she filmed her apartment makeover for the Nate Berkus show last week. They required a medical release. She had a Drs. appointment but was going to cancel it because she before the show came up, she and her husband had a huge bike ride-taking a week or something like that-and she didn't have time for the doc. She had been feeling under the weather for months now, nothing big, just general malaise.

But she went to the doc and described her symptoms and he said, well we'll just do a CT scan.

She has pancreatic cancer.

Suddenly she is no longer my boss and is my beloved friend and I have tears running down my face as I write this.

Friday Five Your Workspace

(The first picture is of my talismans. The second is of my office, or of a corner of it. I'm doing this from my office and on a PC, so it hard to manipulate.-I 'm used to a Mac.)

RevKarla posted this funny FF:

1. My wonderful ergonomic chair that I have carried from office to office and the fabric is now shredded from the substandard "new wooden desks."
2. The wooden desk. As a State of NY Office, our furniture in made in NY State Prisons, Oh Yes. And it tends to shred and fall apart. The beautiful new desks are made of soft woods and when we got them we found that the tops marked so easily-by writing on a paper with a pen, that we had to buy glass tops!
3. My huge cardboard sculpture, leftover packing material from the desks, that sits on top on my bookcase.

I also have a little, strange altar.
4. Piles of files, awaiting my approval, correction, or something else. Just passing through.
5. Photographs of various trips I have taken.

Friday Five-The Season You're In

Kathrynzj posted this thoughtful FF:

"Headquarters for me is the northeast of the United States. Here school is getting back in session, the tease of autumn is in the air (or the hope for the tease of autumn is in the air) and church life is gearing up to full throttle.

One thing I've learned with blogging and social media is that the where I live is not necessarily where you live. And so I want to know what September means to you, in your place of the world and time in your life.

This week's Friday Five is:

What are 5 things that the beginning of September mean to you?"

1. As a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor working for State Rehab., we help individuals with disabilities to go to work, go back to work, find different work after acquiring a disability, or in the case of young adults born with disabilities, after graduation from HS (the short form of what we do) it means all the minutia of college plans. We've been working on them for months, but now it's where is my book voucher? will I get carfare? etc.

2. Even though summer in NY isn't always pleasant, smelly, humid and all that, it means the end of sandals and I love them! I stretch that season as far as it will go!

3. Ditto for heavy clothes. Wish I could give them all to Goodwill. (Which is a very good Rehabilitation agency btw and you should donate to them instead of the Salvation Army which is very Homophobic!)

4. This is the long slippery slide into winter, which I really don't like much. I grew up with lake effect show and after snow days were no longer an issue, snow just became a big problem. NY is much better than my home state, well until last year.

5. So in summary, you can see why Beloved and I have our cruise planned for the end of January!

Bonus: What's one thing you could do without?

Whooops! I may have already done this :-(

Work-Oy

At 3:45 yesterday, my boss called me into her office. I had been expecting the call. It was about a case that was a minor problem. The counselor was away. Her brother had died unexpectedly. My boss, I'll call her Laur*e, has been very busy as she is going to be on a TV talk show, the Nate Berkus Show in September to have her fashionable Upper East Side apartment, redesigned. (she is an habitual shopper and has clothing in her closets with tags on them. Clothing that was bought years ago.) I know this because I am allegedly her friend. Or was. But not on Friday afternoon when she is screaming at me about a case that I know little about with her door open so that the whole hallway can hear. And is giving me instructions. By this time it's 15 minutes before I have to leave and this has to be done by Monday-my day off. (Forgive me, but I'm twitching as I write this.)

I managed to follow all of her screamed orders, and even finished not too late, but late enough for someone who started at 7:30 am But I have to see her again at a party for a friend who got married in the first wave of the NYC gay marriages yesterdays.

I am a quiet person. A cooperative person. I do not respond well to screaming. I scares me. It's a response to the trauma of growing up in an Alcoholic household where there was a lot of screaming and yelling and fighting going on. I is hard on my and really stresses me out. I would never ever treat my counselors light that.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Friday Five Road Trips

Jan Gives us this Friday Five:

Tell us about five road trips--in your childhood, in your family, in your recent past, with friends, and/or hoped-for-places-to-drive-to. Don't forget the one that stands out as the BEST or as the worsttime.

1. All of our vacations as children were road trips, even the one to Niagra Falls, from Ohio to Canada with the Grandparents. Usually my parents and me, and my cousin-as we both were only children and got to go on each others vacations. They usually involved driving to some not too far interesting site, staying at a motel with a pool, and eating in lots of restaurants.

2. The most interesting road trip Beloved and I took involved flying to the Canadian Rockies, taking a train with a glass top to...somewhere in the Canadian Rockies, then driving around the Rockies with stops in Lake Louise, Banf and Jasper. We stayed at resorts build by the railroad. Wonderful and beautiful.

3. Three years ago Beloved and Godchild and I drove back to the hometown to celebrate Aunt Julies 90th. It was a sentimental journey along interstate 80, eating at truckstops. It only took about 9 hours, but I have done it many times and Godchild never. It was fun.

Friday Five-Decisions Decisons

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Five: Decisions, Decisions (deja vu edition)

"I am pinch hitting today, my first time, as your Friday Five RevGal. Like the song "The Macarena" was for Los Del Rio, this could very well be a one-hit wonder, so thanks for playing!

Today we play off of one of my favorite and most memorable Friday Fives to blog from: Decisions, Decisions posted by Songbird last July 23. I went back to that post to make sure I had new choices for you to make. I found out -- again -- that she was then, as I have been recently, in the midst of a discernment process and thinking about what goes into decision making.

A decision from history: There is a chair that still sits in the Assembly Room of the Pennsylvania State House (Independence Hall). Legend has it that it was George Washington's chair, the back carved with a half sun. Benjamin Franklin would look at it and wonder whether it was a rising or a setting sun. Eventually Franklin decided it was the hopeful symbol of the rising sun, a sign of the future of our new republic.

How do you decide? Check out the following pairs and tell which one of each appeals to you most: "

1) Sunrise or Sunset

I love both but when I see sunrise I'm usually on my way to work, so my choice is sunset!

2) To the Mountains or To the Beach

The Beach where I am blogging from RIGHT NOW!

3) Coffee or Tea

Coffee and I just bought one of those new fangeled cup using machines to prove it!

4) Advent or Lent

Advent, more cheerful and shorter, On the other hand, Lent because when it ends, spring is here! A draw.

5) "Raindrops on Roses" or "Whiskers on Kittens"

"Raindrops on Roses" allergic to kittens.

BONUS: Tell more about one of the pairs. Why did you choose it? Difficult or easy choice? A story from your own experience?

Choosing continuing ed. right now. I'm considering a certificate in Trauma. The school is the National Institute of Psychotherapies. I'll also have to do a certificate in EMDR, pre-training. I haven't signed up for it yet because the school's website lists the courses but does not list prices??

Summer Friday Five

Dorcas posted this Friday Five:

"Share five things that are happening in your life, personally or professionally or some of each, in this

season of life."

1. We're relaxing after beloved's dx and subsequent tx of breast cancer. She's gotten the all clear for now and is just taking the 5 years of meds. That's a relief... for now.

2. We're finally able to enjoy the beach palace, aka a condo in Long Beach, NY that a year ago last weekend we first camped out again on an air mattress, in the middle of major rehab. Then we used the shower near the pool on the first floor. Now things are much better.

3. We are planning two weeks there!

4. Work.

5. Play and rest.

Celebration

As you may have heard-

this from the New York Times:

New York Allows Same-Sex Marriage, Becoming Largest State to Pass Law

By NICHOLAS CONFESSORE and MICHAEL BARBARO

"ALBANY — Lawmakers voted late Friday to legalize same-sex marriage, making New York the largest state where gay and lesbian couples will be able to wed and giving the national gay-rights movement new momentum from the state where it was born.

The New York marriage bill, whose fate was uncertain until moments before the vote, was approved 33 to 29 in a packed but hushed Senate chamber. Four members of the Republican majority joined all but one Democrat in the Senate in supporting the measure after an intense and emotional campaign aimed at the handful of lawmakers wrestling with a decision that divided their friends, their constituents and sometimes their own homes.

With his position still undeclared, Senator Mark J. Grisanti, a Republican from Buffalo who had sought office promising to oppose same-sex marriage, told his colleagues he had agonized for months before concluding he had been wrong.

“I apologize for those who feel offended,” Mr. Grisanti said, adding, “I cannot deny a person, a human being, a taxpayer, a worker, the people of my district and across this state, the State of New York, and those people who make this the great state that it is the same rights that I have with my wife.” ed note. I love this

Senate approval was the final hurdle for the same-sex marriage legislation, which was approved last week by the Assembly. Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo signed the measure at 11:55 p.m., and the law will go into effect in 30 days, meaning that same-sex couples could begin marrying in New York by late July."

I came to NYC in 1972 when gay bars were still being raided and the names of people were being published in the newspapers, wrecking marriages and careers, and lives... Homosexuality was a mental illness. I quickly became involved in the new Gay Rights movement as well as the Feminist Movement in which I had been active in my native Ohio. I never thought I would see this day. As a matter of fact last night I went to sleep not even bothering to watch TV rather than being disappointed again. Beloved got home from Shul-where Cynthia Nixon, you know, the same one, was the guest speaker on guess what, her work toward marriage equality. It was standing or sitting in the aisles only.Beloved woke me up when she got home and said it was coming up for vote and didn't I want to watch, I said no.

This morning...Well, Wow!

If, you're coming to NY to get married, let me be your personal tour guide. I'd be delighted!

Sad

You may or may not know that I have been in a Lesbian Care Givers and Partners Group since Beloved was diagnosed with breast cancer, now thankfully in remission.

I got the news that one of my group members partner died this weekend. It was a shock. She did not die of cancer. She died of a reaction to the chemotherapy. It happened a while ago and they said she was going to die then. Her lungs developed some inability to be flexible. But she was getting better and she was in rehab. Then she had a pulmonary embolism and died. Her partner has to move out of their home as it belonged to one who died and the mother is taking it. (no will)

Pray for gay marriage.

See her blog.

http://wtfcancerdiaries.com/

Ennui

One of my favorite words. I've been feeling it lately and especially toward my blog. Sometimes I manage the Friday Five and that's about it.

What's been going on? Last week we managed to remove the towers of boxes that have been living in the tiny apartment all winter, since before Beloved's diagnosis, and growing, to the Beach Palace. We had the aid of Star Movers and they were stars indeed. Now we are in the process of emptying the boxes and figuring out where to put the stuff. I had no idea I had so many art supplies, paint, paper of different kinds, brushes from when I was in school in the late 60's ( I bought quality.) Now I have space to work again. Also jewelry making supplies-hmm where can I solder... Where can I put a kiln?

Work is still way more irritating that it should be. I'm the senior counselor specialist on substance abuse and re-entry (individuals with disabilities who are just getting out of prison.) in our office. I was at a Re-entry Roundtable. The speaker was Kathy Boudin, who has been released from prison and had earned her doctorate. I was really looking forward to it because she was part of the history of my college years. I got a text from my boss. Then another, call me right away, call me it's an emergency! "An emergency?" I had a union grievance from one of my counselors. Why? I forgot to approve his vacation. He asked me by e-mail. His office is about 10 offices away from mine and he comes to my office about once a day to drop off files to be approved. Why couldn't he remind me? I have an aging brain and I had already put it in my vacation calendar, so it was approved in my mind, I just forgot to let him know. I had to leave the presentation and go to a computer to check to see if I had actually replied. So I went home. I didn't.

After discussing my distress with a smart, thoughtful peer at why someone who I considered a friendly worker would actually do something like this over such a petty topic, I talked to him yesterday. I said, I'll call him Bruce, Bruce, why didn't you just remind me about your vacation. I would have approved it on the spot. He looked at the floor and said it was not a good time to discuss it, that he had just seen 4 clients and didn't want to talk about it now. I know it's retribution for my enforcement of a new and, imho, bad policy. Oh well, that's why they pay me the big bucks.

I never got to see Kathy Boudin, but I did talk to her and got her card. We're going to invite her to speak at our Re-entry Consortium.