Friday, December 16, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
What I'm brewing about is the change of atmosphere and attitude in the office. I've been a Senior Counselor in this office since 2007. It was a promotion from another office. Senior Counselor is first line management. Now there are 3 of us for about 228 counselors, arranged in units of about 14. Mine has 9 counselors and 4 support staff, with one counselor and one support staff on long term sick leave.
We have just come through an acrimonious period with a District Office Manager who was my dear friend and my difficult manager and who was universally disliked by the office. I was distrusted because I was her-long term-friend. Also in my unit I had a union organizer who was required to spend long periods of time in Albany. My friend/boss became seriously ill and retired. Shortly thereafter, my counselor sent a four page letter to Humal Resources complaining about me and my management of him, with frequent references to my boss-she was quite the micromanager! This lette was discussed by much higher ups, including the assistant commisioner and the counselor was transferred to a different unit. The letter was full of lies. It was also written by a union lawyer. I was given no recourse.
This is all a lead in to what happened next.
I had one good friend in the office. She was the other lesbian here. When I got here she asked me to supervise her in finishing her masters degree in counseling, which I did gladly. We have been good friends ever since, socializing with our partners and lunching several times a week. About two months ago I noticed that she was no longer available for lunch. It was her busy month and she was wearing a soft cast for a leg injury, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. but it went on. We finally had lunch, she was stiff. Finally I stopped by her office to chat and she let me have it! She said that I took the management position on union negotions. I was at fault with the counselor. I could have bent the rules to accomodate him. (did I mention that my boss was a micromanager?) She had no interest in anything I had to say, and she did 'nt even give me a chance to speak- and we have not spoken since. I'm hurt and I'm angry. She's not a senior, but she's on the management team. At this time she's the only other woman on the management team. I feel so awkward just being in this small community right now. I also know from her strong reaction that Brian showed the letter he wrote to others and she saw it.
If anyone has any advice for me, I'd really appreciate it.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
(The first picture is of my talismans. The second is of my office, or of a corner of it. I'm doing this from my office and on a PC, so it hard to manipulate.-I 'm used to a Mac.)
1. My wonderful ergonomic chair that I have carried from office to office and the fabric is now shredded from the substandard "new wooden desks."
2. The wooden desk. As a State of NY Office, our furniture in made in NY State Prisons, Oh Yes. And it tends to shred and fall apart. The beautiful new desks are made of soft woods and when we got them we found that the tops marked so easily-by writing on a paper with a pen, that we had to buy glass tops!
3. My huge cardboard sculpture, leftover packing material from the desks, that sits on top on my bookcase.
4. Piles of files, awaiting my approval, correction, or something else. Just passing through.
5. Photographs of various trips I have taken.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
At 3:45 yesterday, my boss called me into her office. I had been expecting the call. It was about a case that was a minor problem. The counselor was away. Her brother had died unexpectedly. My boss, I'll call her Laur*e, has been very busy as she is going to be on a TV talk show, the Nate Berkus Show in September to have her fashionable Upper East Side apartment, redesigned. (she is an habitual shopper and has clothing in her closets with tags on them. Clothing that was bought years ago.) I know this because I am allegedly her friend. Or was. But not on Friday afternoon when she is screaming at me about a case that I know little about with her door open so that the whole hallway can hear. And is giving me instructions. By this time it's 15 minutes before I have to leave and this has to be done by Monday-my day off. (Forgive me, but I'm twitching as I write this.)
Friday, August 19, 2011
Jan Gives us this Friday Five:
Friday, July 8, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
New York Allows Same-Sex Marriage, Becoming Largest State to Pass Law
"ALBANY — Lawmakers voted late Friday to legalize same-sex marriage, making New York the largest state where gay and lesbian couples will be able to wed and giving the national gay-rights movement new momentum from the state where it was born.
The New York marriage bill, whose fate was uncertain until moments before the vote, was approved 33 to 29 in a packed but hushed Senate chamber. Four members of the Republican majority joined all but one Democrat in the Senate in supporting the measure after an intense and emotional campaign aimed at the handful of lawmakers wrestling with a decision that divided their friends, their constituents and sometimes their own homes.
With his position still undeclared, Senator Mark J. Grisanti, a Republican from Buffalo who had sought office promising to oppose same-sex marriage, told his colleagues he had agonized for months before concluding he had been wrong.
“I apologize for those who feel offended,” Mr. Grisanti said, adding, “I cannot deny a person, a human being, a taxpayer, a worker, the people of my district and across this state, the State of New York, and those people who make this the great state that it is the same rights that I have with my wife.” ed note. I love this
Senate approval was the final hurdle for the same-sex marriage legislation, which was approved last week by the Assembly. Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo signed the measure at 11:55 p.m., and the law will go into effect in 30 days, meaning that same-sex couples could begin marrying in New York by late July."
I came to NYC in 1972 when gay bars were still being raided and the names of people were being published in the newspapers, wrecking marriages and careers, and lives... Homosexuality was a mental illness. I quickly became involved in the new Gay Rights movement as well as the Feminist Movement in which I had been active in my native Ohio. I never thought I would see this day. As a matter of fact last night I went to sleep not even bothering to watch TV rather than being disappointed again. Beloved got home from Shul-where Cynthia Nixon, you know, the same one, was the guest speaker on guess what, her work toward marriage equality. It was standing or sitting in the aisles only.Beloved woke me up when she got home and said it was coming up for vote and didn't I want to watch, I said no.
This morning...Well, Wow!
If, you're coming to NY to get married, let me be your personal tour guide. I'd be delighted!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
One of my favorite words. I've been feeling it lately and especially toward my blog. Sometimes I manage the Friday Five and that's about it.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Mary Beth posted this Friday Five and I like it:"Hello, my name is Mary Beth, and I'm allergic to ligustrum."
So, thinking about allergies:
1. Do you experience any seasonal allergies? Are you allergic to anything else?
2. What kinds of symptoms do you experience during your allergic reactions?
My father thought I had a cold-endless- and made me wear a sweater in the hot humid weather of the Ohio Valley. Finally I got worse and was sent to a specialist for my tonsils. He also happened to be an Allergist. And he tested my...every year for the next 17 years it seems. Oh, I also had scary nosebleeds and spent long periods of time on his back room leather chaise longe.
3. How do you manage your allergies? (i.e: medication, avoidance, alternative therapies, etc)
4. What is the strangest allergy you've ever heard of?
5. How do you feel about school and social policies that banning peanuts and other allergens?
Friday, April 29, 2011
From our Royal Wedding in Toronto
Kathrynzj's offers this Royal Wedding Friday Five:
1) Will you be watching? If so, is this your first royal wedding?
2) The bride has chosen as her wedding cake a fruitcake. Where do you stand on this pastry?
3) The dress code for royal weddings has not seen the same sad decline as that for most other weddings. If you could design your own royal wedding hat, what color would it be and what special decoration would it feature?
4) Any chance the Archbishop of Canterbury is using a Sustainable Sermon (tip of the mitre to the Vicar of Hogsmeade)? What would you tell the couple were you offering the homily?
5) Believe it or not, kathrynzj is getting up early mostly to see the wedding dress. By the time this post is up, the world will have seen it. Did you like it?
Monday, April 18, 2011
We wanted to update you on the New York City LGBT Pride March and the use of the parish banner for the Church of St. Francis Xavier. Last year, Archbishop Timothy Dolan indicated that he would not like to see any Catholic parish participating in the Pride March under its parish banner, and in response and ongoing consultation with our community, we turned the banner backward.
The leaders of the Catholic Lesbians and Gay Catholics at Xavier got together on March 3, 2011, and came up with a proposal for deciding this year how we would participate in the Pride March. Leaders from the two ministries met with the Pastoral Council on March 21, proposing that we host a parishwide meeting or series of meetings, with a vote to determine our manner of participation in the march. The Pastoral Council and Father Joe Costantinodecided against our proposal. They recommended that we not have such a vote and that we come up with a creative alternative to using the parish banner. The notes from that meeting are available atwww.sfxavier.org/wordpress/sfx/pastoral-council.
On April 12, the leaders of our two groups met at length and prayerfully discerned our next steps. After carefully looking at all of the alternatives, and with open and respectful sharing, we decided to march with the banner facing forward. We realize that this difficult decision may not please everyone, though informal polling over the past several weeks indicates that there is a likely majority in the community at Xavier for going back to how we usually participate.
Father Joe, in an e-mail to the LGBT ministries leaders, stated that while he supports the LGBT ministries at Xavier and will continue to pray for us, if we march with the banner forward, we will not be given “Welcome to St. Francis Xavier” brochures to distribute, we will not be given a blessing, we will not be included in Prayers of the Faithful, and we will not receive other recognition at the Mass on the morning of the march as historically has been done. In addition, no funds will be released from the parish LGBT account for anything connected with the march, no media will be allowed into the church, the attached press release will be posted on the church Web site, and Father Joe will contact ArchbishopDolan about our participation.
Jesus taught us a prayer that can unite us when we have our differences, and so we pray, “Thy will be done.”
Peace be with you,
Catholic Lesbians and Gay Catholics, the Church of St. Francis Xavier
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Kathrynxj posted this Friday Five:
If you want to describe them? Great.
If not? That's fine too."
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Work has become more, just nuts. The problem with working for the government is that it's just so darn hard to quit-read pension. And if I stay for 3 more years I'll have 15 years which doesn't amount to a hill of beans pension anyhow, but it's more than many people have. So don't let me whine.
My little family is coming from Ohio to give support to BL. That will be gran, aka my Aunt Julie-she'll be 93 this summer-I think-and is still getting around with a walker and playing the penny slots. Coming with her my cousing MM and her partner J. MM came out in life- about 5 years ago after years of me speculating. She's in her mid 50's and though we grew up neare each other-like 1/2 a block, we never really knew each other until our respective parents-her father and my mother-brother and sister who had been feuding since my grandmothers will was read- I was 7, MM was 3-5? That's a long time to hold a grudge!
Also joining us will be the elder cousin J and the youngster-in her early 40's E, the grandchild of gran. All at the beach. We'll have fun!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
This book really resonated for me as it related to many themes of my life, family alcoholism, secrets, protecting my mother. It describes a childhood, growing up in segregated 1960s Louisville in a house with many pictures of relatives who all died suddenly and young. As is the case with most houses infected by the disease of alcoholism, there are many secrets. The McCalls were members of Kentucky society-one grandfather was the founder of the country club. The narrator's father's alcoholism—less and less well-hidden—spins the family into financial turmoil and social ruin, very important in this area of the south of debutantes and country clubs, where mounting bills and her fathers difficulty of keeping a job make it impossible to retain membership. McCall, her older sister, Anne, and younger brother, Curt, are all champion swimmers, although they never make the hoped-for Olympics. Anne the older sister, takes the place of the mother who works three jobs to supplement the household income. Like the novels of Carson McCullers, this book has something for everyone. Highly recommended.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Jan posted this thoughtful FF, Words:
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
So tell us what you're reading, what you would and would not recommend--five books or authors! And if you don't want to do that freestyle, here are some questions:"
1. What books have you recently read? Tell us your opinion of them.
2. What books are awaiting your available time to be read?
3. Have any books been recently recommended?
4. What genre of books are your favorite, along with some titles and/or authors you like best?
5. What have you read lately that you have a strong urge to recommend? (or to condemn?)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Kathrynzj posted this Holiday reduz: "Yes, I know it's January and yes, I know some of us are still on a cool sprint after only a brief respite (if that) from Advent and Christmas BUT... before we move too far along into The Next, I wanted to give us a chance to reflect onWhat Was.
A couple of staff members and I sat down today and wrote down what worked and didn't work during the Advent and Christmas season. There are quite a few things bearing down on us at the moment so it was a discipline to do it, but ten and a half months from now Future Me is going to LOVE that we made the effort.
And so partly to give us all a record and partly to give us all a chance to reflect on the 2010 Holiday Season now that we are out of it, I ask you this:"
1) What food item was one of your favorites this year - a definite keeper?
2) Was there a meal or party or a agathering that stands out in your mind from this most recent holiday season?
3) Were you involved in a jaw-dropper gift? Were you the giver or recipient or an on-looker?
4) Was there at least one moment where you experienced true worship?
5) What is at least one thing you want to make sure you do next year?
BONUS: What is something you absoutetly must remember to do differently... or not at all!