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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Friend at Work

I've had a friend who I've worked with for about 12-13 years. I've followed her career, as our careers go, first I worked with her from outside of our agency and I used their services for our agency, then I was hired and she was in a more senior position.
She's a good friend and I love her. We've seen each other through good times and bad. She came to our wedding and we've met on vacation. We've travelled to professional trips together. 
We worked in the same office for many years, but in different units, then we both were promoted to different offices, until this winter when she became the director of our office. This leaves me in the dual position of being the friend and confident of our leader.

Recently we have had several management team meetings that have gone from 10-1:30, straight through lunch. I posted on Facebook that we were having another meeting and I hoped that it would end before lunch. She replied "Stop kvetching." This is NYC-that means complaining. I was unusually hurt by that comment and felt that my work boundaries and personal boundaries had been breached. But we are friends on FB!

I hate lack of boundaries. I like neat, clean beginnings and endings, borders, Good fences make good neighbors and all that.  But life is seldom so neat. And I need to learn to live with a leaky boundary and to do it with grace if possible.