Search This Blog

Friday, August 29, 2008

Friday Five-Labor Day


1. Tell us about the worst job you ever had.
Just for the sheer meanness of the boss, it would have to be the first job I had, and kept for 3+ years in NYC. It was for a store planning company-menswear stores-interior design and it really launched a career, but the owner was really a mean man. He paid me 100. per week to start, no benefits, no health insurance, no sick days, no nothing. And for all of those years he never got my first name right. Of course I had to call him Mr. Did I mention that he would spit on the indoor/outdoor carpeting of the drafting room of this elegant office?

2. Tell us about the best job you ever had.
That would be Jack Lenor Larsen Inc. The man and the company were icons in the design industry. Google him!

3. Tell us what you would do if you could do absolutely anything (employment related) with no financial or other restrictions.
I would set up a private therapy practice.

4. Did you get a break from labor this summer? If so, what was it and if not, what are you gonna do about it?
This summer was relatives, relatives, relatives. Now we need a break! No plans, yet.

5. What will change regarding your work as summer morphs into fall? Are you anticipating or dreading?
We're now in the midst of our our state end fiscal year which is important to demonstrate that we are actually getting people with disabilities jobs. So that we get more funding for the next year. Busy!

Bonus question: For the gals who are mothers, do you have an interesting story about labor and delivery (LOL)? If you are a guy pal, not a mom, or you choose not to answer the above, is there a song, a book, a play, that says "workplace" to you?
Dolly singing 9-5, or Working Girl-the movie. 


Sad News-Del Martin is gone


08-27) 14:57 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin, whose trailblazing activism spanned more than five decades, most recently in the battle for same-sex marriage, died Wednesday, just two months after she made history again by wedding her longtime partner in San Francisco City Hall.

Ms. Martin, an author and organizer, died at UCSF Hospice after a long period of declining health. She was 87 and was admitted to the hospital nearly two weeks ago with a broken arm.

Ms. Martin's crusading began in 1955, during an era in America known more for social conformity than for rebellion, when she co-founded a lesbian social-turned-political organization, Daughters of Bilitis, named after a 19th century book of lesbian love poetry.

This year, on June 16, she and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were legally wed. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated. Theirs was among the first same-sex nuptials in California.

"Her last act of activism was her most personal - marrying the love of her life," said Kate Kendell, a longtime friend of the couple and executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights."

While I was still in college and living at home, I kept a post office box to receive the Daughters of Bilitis Newsletter. I am forever grateful to Del Martin and Phillis Lyons for helping a lost teenager in a small Ohio town to discover her true nature.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Maybe I'll Go Back in Time and Join the Newman Club



From the National Catholic Reporter: "Cardinal John Henry Newman The Catholic church’s attempt to exhume and quietly move the body of Cardinal John Henry Newman has run into controversy, with some saying Newman’s dying wishes are being ignored.

Church officials plan to move Newman’s remains from a grave in a small cemetery in the English town of Rednal to the Oratory church in the city of Birmingham where it will be transferred to a marble sarcophagus and can be venerated by pilgrims.

Newman wrote in his will that he wanted to be buried in the same grave as his longtime friend and spiritual companion, Fr. Ambrose St. John, whom Newman describes as the one great love of his life.

Newman was an Anglican priest who led the Oxford movement in the 1830s to draw Anglicans to their Catholic roots. He converted to Catholicism at the age of 44 after a succession of clashes with Anglican bishops made him a virtual outcast from the Church of England. He died in 1890.

Church officials say the Vatican Congregation for Saints’ Causes wants Newman’s body to be moved into a setting that befits his status as a potential saint. His beatification is expected to be announced later this year.

But British gay rights activist Peter Tatchell has described the removal “an act of religious desecration and moral vandalism.”

In an interview with Ecumenical News International, Tatchell said, “Newman repeatedly made it clear that he wanted to be buried next to his life-long partner, Ambrose St John. No one gave the pope permission to defy Newman’s wishes.

“The re-burial has only one aim in mind: to cover up Newman’s homosexuality and to disavow his love for another man. It is an act of shameless dishonesty and personal betrayal by the gay-hating Catholic Church,” Tatchell said.

Ambrose St. JohnWhether Newman and St. John’s relationship was an actively sexual one has never been clear, but it was indisputably intimate.

After St John’s death in 1875, Newman wrote: “I have ever thought no bereavement was equal to that of a husband’s or wife’s, but I feel it difficult to believe that any can be greater, or anyone’s sorrow greater than mine.”

St. John was also an Anglican priest who converted to Catholicism and joined Newman at the Oratory in Birmingham. (The Oratory of Saint Philip Neri is a congregation of Catholic priests and lay-brothers who live together in a community bound together by no formal vows but only with the bond of charity. Newman founded the Oratory in Birmingham in 1848.)

Their burial in the same grave was Newman’s emphatic wish, expressed in a note he wrote July 23, 1876, to Fr. William Neville, his literary executor. The note reads: “I wish, with all my heart, to be buried in Fr. Ambrose St. John’s grave – and I give this my last, my imperative will.”

It is the same note in which he dictates what would become his motto: Ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem (from shadows and images into truth).

The depth of Newman’s and St. John’s relationship is detailed in scholarly work on “loving coupledom,” titled The Friend by Allen Bray (University of Chicago Press, 2003). The Friend was named book of the year in 2004 by History Today, and received an Award for Excellence from the American Academy of Religion.

One chapter of The Friend focuses on Newman and St. John. In it, Bray, a gay rights activist and respected British historian, explores the published works as well as memoirs, sermon notes and journals of Newman and his contemporaries. With this he reveals the intensity of Newman’s feelings for St. John.

Newman was overwhelmed with grief at St. John’s death. He wrote: “This is the greatest affliction I have had in my life” and later: “a day does not pass without my having violent bursts of crying and they weaken me, I dread them.”

Newman dedicated his Apologia to St. John:

Bray concludes of Newman and St. John: “Their bond was spiritual. … Their love was not the less intense for being spiritual. Perhaps it was the more so.”

Burial with St. John was not Newman’s only wish, according to Bray. He found in one of Newman’s manuscripts a sketch of a grave site that shows “a-s-j” buried below him and “e” and “jospeh” on either side. At the actual site in Rednal, Newman’s casket rests on St. John’s and between Edward Caswall and Joseph Gordon, two men who joined Newman’s Oratory in its earliest days. All preceded him in death.

Bray then tells this story:

“Newman’s room in the Oratory at Brimingham [is] exactly as Newman left it when he died in 1890. At the far side of the room is the altar where Newman (as a cardinal) said Mass, with the pictures of friends that he would remember at his Mass on the wall beside the altar. There one can see the pictures of Joseph Gordon, Ambrose St. John and Edward Caswall. These were as he put it, ‘The three who from the first threw in their lot with me, from the moment they could do so.’ “

Church Times, a London-based Anglican newspaper, is conducting an online poll, asking the question: “Should Cardinal Newman’s remains be moved?” As this story was being posted the Church Times‘ poll was running 22 percent in favor of moving the body and 78 percent against.

You can vote in the poll here: http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/question.asp?id=61972 [1].

Friday, August 22, 2008

Friday Five: When is the Fourth Friday not the Last Friday?


Songbird said:  "It's Friday afternoon, Eastern Time, and this is your faithful Songbird with a calendar-related Friday Five. Due to some confusion with our dates, I'm stepping in today, although I am usually here only on the 5th Friday, when there is such a thing.

Here are five things to ponder about dates. I hope you'll play!"


1) Datebooks--how do you keep track of your appointments? Electronically? On paper? Month at a glance? Week at a glance?
I usually keep a paper datebook, a PDA which has just been replaced by an Iphone, and various other calendars. I'm a wee bit neurotic about time, being on time, being there, not missing important appointments etc.

2) When was the last time you forgot an important date?
Probably about two years ago when I missed an appointment with my therapist, and WHAT did THAT mean?

3) When was the last time you went OUT on a date?
According to BL, not recently enough. Maybe tomorrow or Sunday

4) Name one accessory or item of clothing you love even though it is dated.
My numerous pairs of black trousers, though they're never out of date in NY/

5) Dates--the fruit--can't live with 'em? Or can't live without 'em?
I like them especially in cookies. My mother used to stuff them with cream cheese or nuts. Yum

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Road Trip- My Aunt's 90th Birthday!



We're going to Girard and Warren, Ohio for my Aunt Julia's 90th  birthday (code name Juliefest90) this Saturday. We're expecting 64 guests so far. See the article to be posted in the local newspapers:


" Julia Yezzo Pollock Weddell, a woman who spent her life bringing joy to those around her, will celebrate her 90th birthday Saturday, August 16, 2008. Always the first person to lend a helping hand or offer a sympathetic ear, her family is delighted to be holding a party in her honor on August 16 in the Youngstown area.
Born in 1918, Julia worked most of her life in the grocery business, beginning at age 2 when she helped put sugar in bags and eggs in boxes (ed. note my first job was putting those eggs-fresh from the chicken, in the boxes) in her family's store. At 15, she learned to drive so that she could deliver groceries in the store's truck. Later, her family closed their store and she went to work in an area supermarket where she made fruit baskets during the holiday season.
She met her first husband at her sister's music lessons, and they enjoyed life together, quickly becoming godparents to many children of their family and friends, and having a daughter of their own. Sadly, her husband died young, but this didn't keep Julia down. She went on to build her own house, re-marry, enjoy lots of time with family and friends (including her granddaughter), and travel to other countries. She currently resides in Columbus, Ohio with her niece where she enjoys each and every day to its fullest. Even at 90, she is still energetic, friendly, and always willing to help others." written by her grandchild and my godchild.
She was always and still is like a second mother to me and I'm lucky I still have her. She insisted on walking me down the aisle at my religious wedding to BL.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Friday Five


Presbyterian Gal posted "It’s August. An oppressively hot and humid month where many of us live.

I remember the Al Pacino movie though not much about the plot. Just that it was very, very hot. And he had giant sweat stains on his shirt. (ed note: It was "Dog Day Afternoon" and he was robbing something to pay for a sex change for his lover)
As I pass through this year’s dog days in my felon ridden neighborhood (OK, just two housefuls. But isn’t that enough?), I am trying to focus on the blessings apparent around me, past and present, that I might not notice, necessarily. In that spirit, this week’s Friday Five goes thusly:"


1. What is your sweetest summer memory from childhood? Did it involve watermelon or hand cranked ice cream? Or perhaps a teen summer romance. Which stands out for you?
My sweetest summer memories (and saddest) involve the outdoor summers growing up in Ohio. We had a big yard that was my grandparents and where my parents build a house and my aunt and uncle had a house . There were several gardens and an Orchard, an outdoor fireplace to cook and big grape arbor, a giant swing my uncle built, a basketball hoop, a voleyball court, and lots of lawn. We were always outside playing, cooking, eating, picking fruit! It was lovely.

2. Describe your all time favorite piece of summer clothing. The one thing you could put on in the summer that would seem to insure a cooler, more excellent day.
Well, I did wear a two piece Jantzen swim suit from the time I was 16 till I lost the top, around the time I was 35 or so. I loved that navy suit with the swimming girl on the leg and the white piping...

3. What summer food fills your mouth with delight and whose flavor stays happily with you long after eaten?
Corn, watermelon, tomatoes, basil, and ice cream-that was easy.

4. Tell us about the summer vacation or holiday that holds your dearest memory.
Probably a trip to Italy I several years ago, although it took place in March!

5. Have you had any experience(s) this summer that has drawn you closer to God or perhaps shown you His wonder in a new way?
I'm still looking for this. As a child I prayed and prayed, obsessively one might say, that my father would stop drinking and my parents would stop fighting, and my prayers went unanswered. Sigh. Every day, in the subway, I pass people with red baseball caps and red aprons who accost me with flyers, saying prayer works. It always takes me back to the prayers of my childhood.

Bonus question: When it is really hot, humid and uncomfortable, what do you do to refresh and renew body and spirit?
A nice cold shower, followed by a nap. Or a swim in my lovely pool on 42nd St.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Up coming Retreat in the NY,PA,OH and all point near area


KIRKRIDGE RETREAT AND STUDY CENTER
2495 Fox Gap Road, Bangor, PA 18013-6028, 610-588-1793 . Fax: 610-588-8510
www. kirkridge.org
KIRKRIDGE
RETREAT AND STUDY CENTER
Sisterly Conversations: For Lesbian, Bisexual, Transwomen and Allies
VIRGINIA MOLLENKOTT
September 5-7, 2008 Fri 6:30 dinner thru Sun lunch
Program $150 + Room/Board $175
Current Issues for Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transwomen of Faith and our Allies. Sisterly
Coversations 2008 will focus on TRANSCENDING DAMAGE FROM CHURCH, FAMILY, AND SOCIETY. Activities include
• a presentation/small groups on what forgive- ness/transcendence mean and do not mean from a biblical perspective
• panel discussions/smallgroups on
--the role of communities in our healing
--developing relationships that help transcend early damage
--spiritual practices that support sexual and bodily healing
• talent-sharing, partying, dancing, singing together.
• screening of For The Bible Tells Me So, an award-winning film about families of faith who support their GLBT members
Music by Penny Gnesen and Sue Fulton, directors of the famed a capella group OLYMPIA’S DAUGHTERS.
Coordination and worship led by The Rev. Lillian Porter.
Virginia Mollenkott is a transgender lesbian Christian who is also a mother, grandmother,and author of 12 books, including the newly revised and expanded Omnigender (2007) and Sensuous Spirituality (forthcoming, 2008). She has been speaking and/or leading workshops at Kirkridge for over 35 years.
For more information check out her web site at
www.virginiarameymollenkott.com

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

21 years- a lot can happen


Yesterday was my 21st anniversary in a 12 step program. A lot can happen in 21 years. I reviewed it with my therapist who I was seeing 21 years ago and am now seeing again! She helped me to get sober. I lost both of my parents, my mother in the first year, my father in the third. After not working for two years, I went back to work then went back to school to earn my masters degree in counseling. I've had 4 jobs in this field and have been in my present job for almost 10 years. I met my beloved, now wife 17+ years ago. I've been to Italy, Puerto Rico, Canada a number of times, including the Canadian Rockies, all over the US.  I've formed a better relationship with my godchild and my cousins. I'm on my 3rd computer and just got an Iphone.  There's more, but that's all I have time for now, just one more thing. I'm alive.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Friday Five Locked Out


Songbird reported that the Revgals blog was lockdown and reported as spam! yesterday:
“We requested a blog review, and I posted a request at the Blogger Help group, where I found we were not alone. Many other perfectly nourishing and cromulent blogs got the same notice last night.This turned out to be a very small barricade in our blogging community life, but it seemed appropriate to explore locks and blocks and other barriers this week. Also, I liked the picture of the security team above! Could they be Blogger's Spam Prevention Robots, working overtime?”She asked these questions for this weeks FF:
“In honor of their efforts, I bring you the "Lock Me Out, Lock Me In" Friday Five.”
1) How do you amuse yourself when road construction blocks your travel?Well, since I usually travel by subway, I also usually have a book so that takes care of that. It’s rarely construction, but a sick passenger or blocked tracks or something that the garbled announcement tries to tell us, but as usual the passengers are only left guessing at ?-(
2) Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? (And do you keep an extra key somewhere, just in case?)
I once left my apartment with my partner. I had the day off and was going shopping for groceries, she was going to work in NJ. She locked the door and I went to Whole Foods, merrily packing my big shopping cart, only to discover…no keys. And of course, in a NY apartment, no place to hide them. So I went to Kinko’s the local copy place and rent a computer place- no cell phones yet, I rented a computer e-mailed her at work and waited for her to reply, hoping that the vegetables wouldn’t wilt. She actually called Kinko’s and came back home to let me in! I thought I was rather clever to find a computer and e-mail.
3) Have you ever cleared a hurdle? (And if you haven't flown over a material hurdle, feel free to take this one metaphorically.)
Yes, many mental hurdles which I won’t go into right now, but will say I hope to celebrate 21 years of sobriety on 8/5/08!
4) What's your approach to a mental block?
I usually stumble over it.
5) Suggest a caption for the picture above; there will be a prize for the funniest answer!
Macho, Macho Man. I Want to be a Macho Man!

Monday, July 28, 2008

"Joni and Friends" an Evangelical Ministry and Disability Center


I was paging through a magazine that passed through our office. I'd never seen this one before and it had a little article about this women, Joni, who had a diving accident a number of years ago and now had paraplegia and had started her own ministry, "Joni and Friends, International Disability Center. Hmmm. I thought what a strange name for a Church. So I went to the website and it sounded more like a church than a 'disability center' though the outreach seems to be to individuals with disabilities. There was a place for questions so I asked how their church felt about homosexuals. I waited for about 6 weeks. Actually I forgot all about it until tonight when I got a three page letter which I will quote in part:

"God doesn't love the homosexual any less that sic. He love anyone else. His love, compassion and forgiveness is toward all. Such behavior, however, is a departure from God's expressed order. No matter how we may rationalize the relationships, the reference in Romans chapter I makes it clearly the product of a reprobate mind. But dont's think I'm attaching the phrase "reprobate mind" just to homosexuals-the immoral heterosexuals or prejudiced , bigoted heterosexuals-are called upon to repent of sin and no longer practice the ungodly patterns of living they have enjoyed before.
The church needs to take a hard look at her attitudes and treatment of gays and lesbians in the past. The church cannot condone homosexual life style; however, the church should begin to bring victory to those who are willing to submit their sexual orientation to Him needs to be shared... and shared in a sensitive and caring manner."

Reprobate
 Pronunciation:
\ˈre-prə-ˌbāt\
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
rep·ro·bat·ed; rep·ro·bat·ing
Etymology:
Middle English, from Late Latin reprobatus, past participle of reprobare — more at reprove
Date:
15th century
1 : to condemn strongly as unworthy, unacceptable, or evil

2 : to foreordain to damnation
3 : to refuse to accept : reject
synonyms see criticize
— rep·ro·ba·tive \ˈre-prə-ˌbā-tiv\ adjective
— rep·ro·ba·to·ry \-bə-ˌtȯr-ē\ adjective

They then proceeded to refer me to Exodus international. I thought that a ministry that reached out to individuals with disabilities would be interesting, particularly one started with a woman with a severe disability. I think I'll skip that.