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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Ocean Grove, NJ redux


Group Loses Tax Break Over Gay Union Issue
from todays NY Times

By JILL P. CAPUZZO
A boardwalk pavilion in the seaside town of Ocean Grove, N.J., that has been at the center of a battle over gay civil union ceremonies has lost its tax-exempt status because the state ruled it no longer met the requirements as a place open to all members of the public.

In a letter to the administrator of the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association, a Methodist organization that owns the pavilion property, the state commissioner of environmental protection, Lisa Jackson, declined to recertify the pavilion as eligible for a real estate tax exemption it has enjoyed since 1989 under the state’s Green Acres Program, but did renew the tax-exempt status of the rest of the boardwalk and the beach, also owned by the association.

The issue arose after the association, which has owned the land, the beach and 1,000 feet of the sea itself since 1870, rejected the requests of two lesbian couples to have their civil union ceremonies at the Boardwalk Pavilion.

The couples complained to the State Division on Civil Rights, which began a discrimination investigation. The association sued the state, claiming that the investigation violated its First Amendment rights because civil unions were contrary to the beliefs of the United Methodist Church.

A federal district court judge refused last month to halt the investigation.

In a letter dated Saturday that revoked the longstanding certification, Ms. Jackson, the environmental protection commissioner, wrote, “It is clear that the pavilion is not open to all persons on an equal basis.”

The administrator of the Camp Meeting Association, Scott Hoffman, said in a written statement that “the Camp Meeting is reviewing the letter. However, it is worth noting that over 99 percent of the Camp Meeting’s land was recertified as tax-exempt.”

Every three years since 1989, the association has applied for, and received, tax exemptions for its boardwalk, beach and the pavilion under the Green Acres Program, designed to encourage the use of privately owned lands for public recreation and conservation. This is the first time any part of its application has been turned down.

Facing a deadline of last Saturday mandated by the Green Acres rules, Ms. Jackson said it was important to make clear where her department stood on the definition of open property.

“When people hear the words ‘open space,’ we want them to think not just of open air and land, but that it is open to all people,” said Ms. Jackson. “And when the public subsidizes it with tax breaks, it goes with the expectation that it is not going to be parsed out, whether it be by activity or any particular beliefs.”

The tax assessor in Neptune Township, where Ocean Grove is located, said he could not estimate how much more tax the association might have to pay because of the changed status of the pavilion. When the lawsuit was filed against the state last month, the assessor, Bernard Haney, estimated that the association was saving about $500,000 a year because of all of its Green Acres exemptions.

In a letter sent to the state last week arguing that the tax-exempt status of the Pavilion, should be retained, Michael Behrens, the association’s lawyer, said that the use of the open-air pavilion had not changed since it was first included in the Green Acres Program 18 years ago.

The pavilion, which is used largely for Sunday church services and youth ministry programs, has also been a place where boardwalk strollers are welcome to sit and relax. “But never was the general public granted unfettered right to use the pavilion in any way it chooses (e.g., to reserve it for an exclusive use such as a civil union ceremony),” Mr. Behrens wrote.

The case has drawn national attention, in part because Ocean Grove has long been considered a community that embraced gay residents. Steven Goldstein, executive director of Garden State Equality, a New Jersey gay rights organization, said he has gotten more e-mail messages on this issue than on any other cause his group has taken up.

“I’m hearing from gay people all over the country who thought Ocean Grove was the leading light for gay tolerance and that’s not the case anymore,” Mr. Goldstein said.
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I'm feeling somewhat vindicated by this turn of events as I've gotten the biggest # of hits on this topic. Apparently people have strong feelings on this subject!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Florida cont. Sundowning




I asked my father-in-law's treatment /extended care home owner for a treatment plan. She looked suprised and said "what do you think is wrong with him?"
And that, folks, is what we're dealing with in sunny Florida!
Our days have been spent sitting with dad, eating, trying not to offend Mrs. Dad, and trying to figure our how to improve his lot. It's clear that he is oriented x3, but severly depressed and Mrs. Dad does not want him at home while he had trouble with, well let's say #'s 1 and 2. She may have a dx of OCD.
Everyone (except Mrs. Dad) is flummoxed as to how to handle this and spring the old man from what can best be described as a very depressing Florida home style prison for the elderly.
PS Two home health aide for the six men living there. The first day as we were walking in, we saw them drop one of the men. Ow. Or he could have fallen.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Health Care for the Elderly in Florida

I'm in beautiful Florida. Gee, it sure is HOT in September.

Our mission- Sue, her brother Jay and I, to determine whether their father belongs in an extended care facility (warehouse until he dies.) Sue and I were in the process of deciding if we wanted to buy a place in Florida to eventually retire to, but from what I have seen the health care system here is even worse than in NY. I guess because people are mostly old and don't really advocate for themselves (gross generalization.) Every time, the father-in-law goes into the hospital, he comes out sicker which necessitates a time in rehab. where they screw up his meds., which makes him disoriented, which results in another diagnosis and more meds. which may react with the existing meds. and the wheel rolls on.

Extended care facilities do not have treatment plans. When I asked for one, the director asked "what do you think is wrong with him?" Arrgh! Well about 5 things that I could see with my eyes and that I thought were correctable with little trouble (like how about getting him his glasses and how about his hearing aid!) And then how about some mental health services. We heard that priests make the rounds frequently.
As we were leaving yesterday, the director said "we like to make them feel comfortable in their last days..."

Who determines whether he goes for treatment or warehousing? Is it his wife or is it his doctor who decides that he is beyond help and to let him slowly deteriorate in a 6 person home with the care of 2 home health aides with no view of the outside world. How can the sun not go down?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I hate to keep dwelling on this...


I have never been in the area of the WTC in the anniversary of 9/11.
I had an appointment with my therapist yesterday at 12:30. I usually arrive from Brooklyn, but yesterday was my pass day. Every other week I have a day off. So, I travelled from Chelsea, or for you non-New Yorkers-farther uptown. My subway stop? World Trade Center. I had heard on the radio or was it tv that there was a frozen zone downtown. Would I have a problem with closed subway stations? Would I be able to walk from the stop to my shrink? I called 311-the information #. No infor. They tranferred me to the MTA line, no information. CALL BACK TOMORROW! Now, I'm sorry but who is talking to whom in this city. This is the day before the big commemoration in the big city...
I took my chances and got on the subway. I still have my share of PTSD from that fateful day. When airplanes make a lot of noise fly low, I feel a shimmer of fear. And helicopters are always making a lot of noise, and that noise scares me. As I got there I saw fire men from ever country speaking every language in the subway. Wow! They came all the way here for this. The streets were crowded even in the rain and it was big rain at times. I was touched . The reading of names was loud and echoing and seemed to be coming from several places-speakers. I had heard my cousin Lucys name read on TV before I left.
Guess what I talked about in therapy?
On a lighter note: As I walked to the subway on my residential street, I saw a long line of somewhat well dressed people headed toward the German Lutheran Church near 8th Ave. At the church, I asked, what's going on. They're auditioning smaller parts for "Sex and the City." The things that happen in my neighborhood. When I got back, the line was even longer, all the way to my building.

Lucy Fishman


September 15, 2001
from the New York Times

"Lucy Fishman: Antsy on First Day of School

Tuesday was the first day of school for Lucy Fishman's 3-year-old son, Jason.

Her family sometimes theorizes that she stayed at her office in the trade center because she wanted to hear from her husband, Gene Springer, how it had gone: if Jason had cried, if he went willingly, that kind of thing.

Whatever, when Mr. Springer called Ms. Fishman, 36, an executive secretary at Aon Research, in her 105th floor office, he got only her voice mail.

Family was what mattered to Ms. Fishman. This summer she and her husband built a big pool in their backyard in Gerritsen Beach, Brooklyn, and that's where they and the kids -- Jason and his sister Samantha, 11 -- hung out.

Ms. Fishman's favorite movie? She liked action pictures, her younger sister Mary Dwyer said, but the movie did not really matter; she just liked curling up next to her husband.

He agreed to talk to a reporter about her, but he began to weep and was unable to speak, so it fell to Ms. Dwyer."

Saturday, September 8, 2007

SFX Catholic Lesbians Visit Gay Synagogue


What an evening we had. About 12 women showed up and we had saved seats up front and center at Holy Apostles Church, the temporary home of Congregation Beth Simchat Torah. Sue and I got there at 6:30 and two of the women from SFX from Yonkers showed up, then no-one for awhile. Then-a whole group streamed in. I felt proud and happy. When I went to SFX in January it was with some trepidation. I had been away (from the Catholic Church) for quite some time, but what I found was a small group of women who were very involved in their faith and very involved with the group, in planning program, in social justice issues, in supporting each other. They welcomed me warmly and gradually I felt at home.
Last night I was glad to introduce them to CBST, the spiritual home of my parner Sue.I was also somewhat interested to see the reaction of the congreation of these strangers in their midst. It was not the night to do this, as it was a huge celebration of the new cantor, David Berger a beautiful singer. The service was long, very long conpared to a catholic mass. I started at 7:00 and we got out sometime close to 9:00. The SFX women were exuberant and excited. We all had dinner at a local diner and Sue explained all that they had seen. What a night

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Another one




You Are the Super Ego



While some people may think first and act later... you often don't act at all.

You rather be safe than sorry, and you take ethics pretty seriously.

Like everyone, you have some pretty crazy desires. But unlike everyone, you restrain yourself.

You have high standards for your own behavior. And you happily exceed them.


This one I didn't fudge, but wish I did! Oy.

On a lighter note




You Are 68% Good



You are a good person. You do the best you can to be ethical, fair, and moral.

And as you know, being a good person means making hard decisions... and following them through.

If you're confronted with an ethical dilemma, you will usually do the right thing.

Of course you do slip up. No one's perfect. But you do your best to correct your missteps.



You are also probably: incredibly honest, especially with yourself



Right now you are on track to being: A respected leader



To be a better person: Be kind to someone who is not very kind to you


Well, maybe I fudged a little...